I questioned even telling you this story…

I am a college drop out. I sacrificed my happiness to keep my family afloat financially. It was my last year at UC Santa Cruz ; I built a life their that was my own. I lived a few blocks from the beach , was active with the Filipino Student Association , I was exploring the idea of becoming a massage therapist, all my friends were there. Everything about that place was magical to me . It all ended with one phone call .

“ Mom is sick and you have to come home. I have been trying to hold it down but we can be faced with eviction any day now. We need money.” My heart sank and I felt the invisible hand penetrate my chest and squeeze joy out of my body. My inner critic said,

“ see nothing good ever lasts. You can’t have your own things or put yourself first.You were only fooling yourself”.

And just like that, I left as if none of my life there ever happened...

When you are so deeply connected to a place you feel is home and have it stripped away from you, it’s a grieving process. For me it was the ultimate mind fuck because I was leaving a place I called home to go back and live in the place that was supposed to be my home that I felt completely disjointed from. I jumped into survival mode and scrounged around for any jobs that I could get my hands on.

I did what was right for my family but depression and anxiety haunted me. I never slept and I would barely eat . I was alone and retreated into myself. Detachment was so much easier than to connect than to love something that could be taken away from me.I disconnected from everyone.

I thought I needed to be numb , to bottle it all up, to never talk about it so that the pain would dissolve and that meant I was being strong . I was fucking wrong and that only leads to more suffering.

The programs I offer do the opposite of numbing. Everything you need to stand in your power lies within you. I help my clients work towards using that pain to propel them into badass warriors who are UNFUCKWITHABLE ( Yes you best believe I made up that word ) Where you allow yourself to humanize all of your emotions and convert that into personal power. If you are sick and tired of being numb and going through the motions because you know you are meant for more...then send me a DM .